Log in

The Goddess Seria
06 April 2014 @ 10:24 pm

So, three years later. Its funny to look back on my account and see who I was and who I came to be. Its enjoyable actually. What more, I'm proud of who I was and who I am. Japan never happened. A tsunami at the time saw to that. Instead, I ended up in the other place I envisioned. Austin. Let me tell you, its better than I ever imagined.

Skirts dominate my closet but somehow I still wear jeans so often. I know its wrong and I'm slowly easing them out. OK, I'm kicking them out for the spring and summer because its super hot over here so yeah. I adore floral and don't have enough of it. I'm even softer than I was before but somehow I found a metal band I actually enjoy. I still enjoy horror though I haven't watched any recently. I've been on an Investigation Discovery kick out of this world though. I wonder if I had a taste of real monsters which makes the fake ones so far away. Who knows?

Eventually, I hope to be doing something I love. I graduated so now what? Now what indeed.

I write now, I mean really write. I want to do something with it, but who will buy it? My insecurities come and go like tides on the shore. I breathe into the salty air now. I've read some books on ebbs and flows. They're no longer mysteries to me.

People have come, people have gone, some remain the loving same. Roots, branches and leaves as they say. I had to rediscover my roots recently and I thank God for it. I had to rediscover him too. He never left me but there was some barriers between us that I didn't appreciate. Fuck those barriers.

To the ones who got off the ride: I hope your life goes better than you could have ever imagined and that everything you touch turns to rainbows and starshine levels of amazing. To the ones that stayed: I hope I can be there and share in the love and sorrows, the triumphs and pitfalls, the happiness and the sorrow because life is richer and more wonderful than anything the hands of man can produce yet. I want the best for everyone, that's something I'm still growing into.

Life is an endless motion of greats yes's and fuck me's, of orgasms and painful amputations, of heaven and hell and beauty and pain. We're all in this together and I'm ready to high five all those who flow down this stream with me.


Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: Cee Lo- Getting Grown
The Goddess Seria
16 February 2011 @ 12:05 pm
Last night I spoke of demons
With eyes like dogs chasing
a young man through the streets
breathing huskily at his back
and leaving the calling card
of a dog ripped apart and 
messages written in blood.

Last night i spoke of past lives
When asked what mine were 
was self assured of two:
In the first I was a witch-doctress
When asked how would I know
I shrugged and said I knew because
you don't say in polite company
That you remember how to bless
And curse upon request.
The other life was that of a murderer
Again I was asked how could I know
And again I said I just knew because
you don't say in polite company that
you sometimes get a rush from making
other suffer and that one had to appreciate
life through learning to do so.

Last night I spoke of joy 

Last night I spoke of frivolous enjoyments

Last night I spoke of comic books

Last night I spoke of my future
And as we spoke the demons ran,
The dead hushed and watched,
And I let god's light shine through me
And this morning I woke up enlightened.
Current Mood: nostalgicnostalgic
The Goddess Seria
16 February 2011 @ 09:44 am
 As I gently claw the last of the eyeliner from my eye I can still appreciate what's happened in the last 12 hours or so. I went to a bar/restaurant kind of thing where I met a guy who studied energy and reactions. I was told I was a hard headed, vain, and shy, but I stick to my guns so much I'm a force to be reckoned with. I was elated. Elated. I was also told I could be whatever I wanted to be that we only accept emotions that we want and use them. So I wondered what makes those traits so damn attractive to my subconscious and to me. I think back and I realize I mimicking my mother more or less. Picking upon the woman who(by my and all my friend's accounts) glowed with perfect femininity. I'm coming to an apex in my life where all the things that I chose now may(somewhat) stay with me forever. Will I always be elated to be this person?

When I was younger I was like this but the younger me is so alien to me now. I was very dark and I wore death on my sleeve like a pendant. I tried to sleep like I would in a coffin and was dead set that the bridal march were one in the same. My favorite color was black my ultimate goal in life was to be a tatted up chemical scientist. I was a strange strange child who became a pained and troubled adolescent who's now a young adult who wonders as she hides her past under a floral skirt "Am I still being true to myself?"

Then I pull the corset mirror from my "Dia De Los Muertos" sugar skull make up bag and reapply the heavy black "mark my eyes" liner by Hot Topic. Yes I wear floral, yes I'm in fashion, yes my favorite color is fuchsia but my favorite movies are still horror, I still think combat boots are beautiful and when I am an adult I'll read to my children of the real little mermaid who washed away in foam because its my favorite version and there's a lesson to be learned. I may choose lace over leather but I'm still hardcore to the one who counts, me.
Current Mood: peacefulpeaceful
The Goddess Seria
05 February 2011 @ 12:24 am
 So I have addict songs that I will fall in love with and listen to 1000 times. This is my current:

I'm in love with a blonde T.O.P. right now.  -_-' oh the hotness is too much
Current Mood: dirtydirty
The Goddess Seria
03 February 2011 @ 08:00 pm
So last night I had another crazy dream. This was only one(ok there was a mini one after), thank heavens, but it was a really nice dream just crazy as all get out(sorry for the southern colloquialism). 

So the dream:

It was at the end of what I thought was Rush Hour 4(doesn't exist yet to my knowledge) but instead of Jackie Chan, Jet Li was there. We were in this weird chicken coop sort of thing(yeah I was in the movie) but no chickens just cartons and cartons of eggs and we were covered in body paint as if we had just been through paintball hell but everyone was smiling and happy. Then Salt n' Pepa came in and we were happy to see them. Pepa sat in Jet Li's lap so I guess they were together. Then the entire thing gets picked up by a helicopter and we're dropped into a park. There's sunshine and rainbows and I run through a sprinkler laughing. Then I woke up. 

Disclaimer:  I do not do drugs nor do I drink.

Mini dream: I wake up and open my laptop(it sleeps in my bed with me) and go to my Netflix looking for said RH4 with no such luck. (SMH at myself)

Yeah.... working through this with Dream Moods

Thats it for now,
The Goddess Seria
31 January 2011 @ 10:55 pm
 I start crying
Not because I'm sad or anything
Simply because I'm sleepy
Water boiling up to coat
Burning Bright Bed Ready eyes
But I'll stay up
I need to 
I want to
An hour more
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
The Goddess Seria
30 January 2011 @ 11:22 am
Ok, a little background. Since I'm not sure exactly what I'm doing with this livejournal I think I'm going to go ahead and post my dreams when I feel like it. Lol. It is mine :-)

So, I'm a vivid dreamer and can have multiple dreams in one night.

Last night I had 3

Dream 一 : While watching a larger flat screen TV(which I don't own) I got a major freak out. Roaches(which I don't have TTL1)  started crawling across the screen. These things were the size of my hand, kids, and at 5'9 I have large hands. To top it all off two of them started mating(*hurl*). So magically enough I had a can of Raid and spayed them both. They freaked and one started flying toward my bed(Seria's got a studio). I sprayed more then I woke up.

Dream 二 : So, I'm suddenly in this fabric store looking for, yes indeed, fabric. Amazingly enough the fabric store is merged with my grandmother's house and she is the owner. So, I'm not finding the fabric I need but I tell her to keep an eye out(strange turn of phrase). I see a customer fussing over a tulle dress and leaving it. Now this thing isn't exactly awesome but it has potential. Somewhat like below, except below is awesome!:

Imagine this but with contrasting white tulle skirt, cap sleeves, and overlay but sans bow.
So I say I'll pay for it and she asks me will I really be able to fit it(I'm a recovering fat kid folks). I say 'if I can't now, I will' then *bam* wake up. 

Dream 三 : So last dream and strangest of the night. My elder sister and I are walking through a wooded park when suddenly a rapist pops out brandishing a weapon. Totally not going out like that, my sister and I attack the dude. We pull out our knives(my 17th birthday gift was a knife with a 4" serrated blade. Don't judge) and defend ourselves. That when the dream turns into some action movie where our cuts are in slow motion and somehow there's raindrops I... whatever. Anyway, we defeat the rapist and we turn him over and, lo and behold, he's a she. I blame this dream on the Criminal Minds episode "Conflicted". 

So those were my dreams. I like to use the wonderful www.dreammoods.com and their dream dictionary. I believe dreams have meanings and its fun to see what the heck I'm thinking about.

So, until next time Kiddos and Kiddettes,

1) thank the lord
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: G-Dragon - A boy
The Goddess Seria

So again I write
Listless little dreamer
Hoping you can make it
Stay motivated enough
To keep on posting
Work little girl work
Flex those long fingers
Close your eyes and pray
That each little tick
And tack of the keyboard
Brings you closer to release
Current Mood: artisticartistic